Journey of a Dream

Prelude

Many times, when life seemed utterlerly hopeless, it turned 180 degrees around. There were countless times that God showed up in the midst of the verge of failure. As I look back, what I can truly say is that God has been faithful through it all.

In studies

When I was a kid, I was seen by my parents as the most unintelligent among their 3 children that Mum sent me to a Malay school instead of a Chinese one. She justified that I was lazy and wouldn't be able to cope with the stress of being in a Chinese school; the heavy load of homework, harsh discipline, etc for I was a spoilt kid too. That would have answered people's question on why my brothers know Mandarin while I do not. In Primary 2, Mum decided that enough was enough. In spite of the simple syllabbus, I couldn't spell "ayam" and my grades were appalling. She decided to send me for tuition with Ms Chan. Ms Chan was a disciplinarian at its core. Finally 4 years under her strict authority, I emerged as the school's top student.

When God works, He likes to repeat His feats. Few months prior to SPM, I scored 36% for my Add MAths paper and it was only by the teacher's mercy to give me 4 bonus marks to help me pass. I was greatly distressed and started my ultimate study plan. Every other day, I would sit at McDonalds to do a set of papers. After 2 months, I confidently sat for finals and I scored 90%! My mum promised RM100 for each A that I got for SPM. It upsetted her that she had to give much!

That was not all. With the step of education getting higher each time, I understood that there were greater challanges ahead of me but perhaps due to interim successes, I got disillusioned that I stopped working hard (for a while). In early 2003, I failed my Chemistry paper and that served as a wake up call for me that STPM was approaching.I had 3 great teachers: Mr Kadam, Pn Cheah and Han Jian. With every exam, I only improved by 10%. That may be little to begin with but at the end, I got an A for Chemistry in STPM. I cried for the sweat and blood that I put it, and it was certainly worth the efforts. If there were any subjects that I particularly worked on, it had to be Chemistry.

I am not proud of my past successes, I am only concerned about the future. In recent years, I haven't got a real breakthrough in my studies. I am writing this blog to remind myself and readers that God is a faithful God. If He's done it before, He will do it again.

It is one of those mornings that I don't feel like waking up. Waking up is such a dread thinking about all that is going to befall me. Things aren't exactly great at the moment. I wonder if I will ever return to the jolly old me, in my own sense. Oreo is usually a super stress lifter but for the past few days, he's been throwing up his food. He made me worried sick. His size disturbs me too cos he's really a skinny boy after cutting his fur. Can't believe Oreo is turning 5 next year. The bond between Oreo & I often amazes ppl. They simply can't understand it. You see, Oreo was with me since SPM, then STPM days & now uni days. He's been longer with me than any relationships have been. He's seen me cry, he's seen me laugh & sleeps on my bed.

Unlike other people whose love for dogs developed since childhood, mine only started when I was Form 5. I love any dogs, especially Oreo, Milo & Milo's puppies, but I also had compassion on the stray ones. One day as I was walking up the stairs, a shabby stray dog sat pitifully in front of me. Stupidly, I tried to pat it's head. Without warning, it just attacked my hand. As a result, I had to see the doc for the tetanus jab. The scar is still evident on my right hand. This time round, I still haven't learnt the lesson but instead of a dog, this painful bite is from a human.

For the past 4 months of holidays, it was as though I disappeared from the face of the earth. I didn't forget my beloved blog but as usual, my excuse is that I have been to busy. The holidays were very precious to me because it's probably the longest hols I could possibly have before I step foot into the working world. Here's a summary of what I did:

Main agenda - working for Aunt Ngat Chin's phD research

June - Firstly, I went to a conference in Singapore called the Extraordinary Emerge. I went there with my church members & it was simply awesome! When we were shopping at the Suntec City, we bumped into the lead singer of GMB, Sidney Mohede & Ps Yusa. Took photo with them.

The later part of June was spent visitting Beijing with my family. Beijing is a very interesting place to be cause it's a whole different place altogether. It seemed as though every corner of Beijing was flocked by people. We went to Great Wall, Forbidden City, Ming Tomb & not to forget, countless factories so that we could get some pearls, jade, crystals, tea leaves & the replica of the Chinese legendary animal "pi xiu". It was said that this "pi xiu" didn't have any anus which means that it contains all the wealth you can gather. The memory of that trip is fading soon. Haha my first family trip ever.

Besides that, I truly cherish the time I spent with my cell members. They are really a bunch of happy people. I have really gotten to know many of them much better. Ppl like Cheok Miin, Nickey & Jeffrey. They are not just my cell members, but they are really my friends. Some of them went back to their respective unis; separated over 300 kms & across the ocean. I miss them whenever I think of them. The truth is I may seem like a Mecha, but I'm really an Orga.

After 8 long weeks of studies, labs, finally the mid - sem holidays are here. It was supposed to be last week that we have hols, but the government postponed it to make way for Merdeka celebration. It's ok with me as long as I have the hols. Yesterday noon Xin Hui & I officiated our hols by watching "Charlie & the Chocolate Factory". It's about this poor kid who eventually made it to be the heir of the Wonka factory. The flashbacks on Willy Wonka's childhood & Charlie's quest of winning the gold ticket touched me most. We had so much fun window shopping cos personally, it's been a long time since I last watched a movie. We were so caught up with shopping that we went back at 7pm. I bought lingerie & she bought hair color. Haha what a fruitful day. Not forgetting, we met up with Valentine. He came down to KL for a business trip. Happy that he took the effort to meet up with me all the way from Sabah.

One thing that really captured my heart is Pastor's sermon on the last day, that our primary calling is to be with Jesus. It strike my heart that for the past few weeks, I had been so busy with ministry, that every single day I've been too concerned about visitation, ferrying people to church & making sure that every thing is running smoothly. My prayer life evolves around praying for University Malaya that one day we will experience a life-changing point-turning revival. But I forgot about worshipping God & being in the presence of God! No wonder I felt so tired in my body b'cos I didn't have my strength renewed(Isaiah 40:30-31). So there I repented before God & pledged to Him that I no longer want be a professional Christian but to have my whole life devoted to Him!