Journey of a Dream

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I'll tell you 5 reasons why you should vote for him:

As the car door slammed behind her, a tinge of sadness filled the early morning air, but it was not just the air, instead it was the emotional door that John had slammed once and for all all, closing every opportunity of reconciliation. As Sue walked into the house and John's car already out of sight, she reminisced on what went wrong during that night that seemed so surreal with all the smoke and intoxication. She was baffled.

It could be well said that it was a date, perhaps a two - friends - meeting - after - such - a - long - long - time kind of thing, but more accurately, it was a disaster. She remember being picked up at 5, and John had been friendly, but by 11pm, it was a totally different story. The friendliness and warmth has turned into coldness and self - absorption. Had John turned bipolar or whatever that is (the author is not very good with medical cliche)? Had it been Nicholas Smith, George Smith, or even Maddox Smith (all suppotitious, non - existent persons) for that matter, it would have been debatable. But for John Smith, Sue should have expected it.

John Smith, Dr. A man of intelligence. A man that for too much intelligence, he turned arrogant. A man who believes that 25 is the age to bang all the women he could possibly bang. A man who thought he has seen it all, done it all when indeed, it was quite the opposite. A man of folly.

Sue Gordon, only a Miss. An imbecile woman who believed that every human's nature began as good. The more she wanted to put her best, the more it failed; she had it all wrong. It wasn't a show to impress someone. It was about the man she had long sufferingly loved, waited, and devoted much time to prayer. And when at one point when the preacher asked what was the one thing she would ask for, it was about John.

He had it all wrong too; she wanted to become Mrs Smith but it was not in her slightest to become Mrs Dr Smith. He had it wrong. John's silence had broken the feeble heart of Sue's, and he hadn't got any initiative to mend it back. She had loved much, but with all the love she hated even more. The pain that for such a time would not heal, Sue would often find it stitched but for no apparent reason, the wound opened up again. Now the door is shut forever!

Since shifting here, I remember having been bored and stressed, but never been sad that I can't bring myself to be here because my thoughts play on me. There were days I was so poor (that I couldn't afford to go out) and frustrated (for not having a job yet) that I just had to stay at home. But these 2 days, I just have to get away. Having the comfort of home means I am allowed to mourn and cry, but I don't allow myself to do that. I do not want to cry over the same thing that I used to cry over. I don't want to have the deja vu again. When someone fools you once, it's his fault. When he fools you a second time, then it is your fault. I know that principle a long time, but yet I still fall into the same hole. I am not very smart isn't it? But it is only at home that I can encounter God once more. Jesus asked Peter, "Who do you say I am?" and Peter had a revelation that day that Jesus is the Son of God. While praying today, I had a revelation of who God is - He is the Great Physician who is capable of healing me, greater than any other physicians in the world. He's the only physician I need.

I have been a movie buff since Form 6. Think Jo passed me the virus. We went after school (and once during school) to watch movies and once bumped into our class teacher, Mrs Ng. She is classic. Oh how much I miss her. Anyway, back to the topic, I love all types of movies, okay, almost all... but the ones I love most are definitely the highly inpirational type. They are stereotypical in terms that in the beginning, the characters struggle hard, but they triumph in the end.

I think I can identify with the characters. So often nothing seems to go right. I try so hard yet nothing improves. Worse, people think I am lazy (that is true to some extent) and I am learning to change. I really am trying. So that is why I always feel better after watching a good movie. I know I can triumph in the end. Circumstances may prolong but ultimately things will turn out for good.

Ratatouille - Remy got my sympathies when he realised how humans disgusted rats. That pitiful look when while overhearing the statements of a woman in the drain. But Remy, being a rat, was able to cook.

Pursuit of Happyness - "If you want it, go get it." Heard that? The inability to get a job as a chemist has really discouraged me that I want to give up all together. People tell me, "Why are you so stubborn? Why can't you settle with your current job?" When you don't like something, you tend to find a lot of reasons to say that it is not good.

It's true. I don't like the fact that it's a 5 and a half day week. I have claustrophobia. I don't like the job scope but ultimately, it is not my dream. I can't see myself doing this for the rest of my life. And being in this job for long will mean that I no longer can be a chemist. I wanna start fresh. It's my passion. You can never go wrong when you are doing something according to your passion.

Being a chemist means that I will have to give up on a lot of things. I give up the opportunity to meet people (I'll be stuck in the lab). I don't have the chance to wear nice clothes (who can see them under the lab coat anyway) and I risk being contaminated with chemicals. So why do I insist being a chemist?

Somehow, I have been so accustomed to scientific terms that they appeal to me. Words like pharmacology, pharmacokinetics seem to be more interesting than ...And time in the lab flies like a wind.

Fight the Giants - A Christian production that talks about the literal Highland Giants and figuratively the giants in our lives. The story line was kind of expected but hey, who doesn't like a football game. The main theme of the movie is nothing is impossible with God. Yes it is all possible.

"Why?" is probably the most asked age - old question in the world today. "Why?" had been the main theme in the book of Job, and it is still the question that baffled many until today.

Why am I scientifically wired?

Why can't I just like business instead?

Why did I give up the chance to study pharmacy in Singapore?

Why did give up the IT scholarship when offered?

Why did I earn only half the A's I needed to study medicine?

Why have I become cheap labour?

It's been one of the most terrible sleep I've had since shifting here. I hardly slept for an hour despite my physical wanting to do so. To my parents, they were surprised to see me rising me so early, as waking up in late morning has almost become synonymous to my name. After signing off my computer at 3am, I tried very hard to put myself to deep sleep, but some words replay again and again in my mind. All the words and the facts, they were as difficult to rid off as they were committed to memory. The scenes of that bitter defeat replay over and over again. It is such torment to watch that mind video again and again. I have yet to pass through that stage of disappointment.

Updated: It was yesterday..but the author moves on!! I can't read to finish reading Mansfield Park by tonight. A book a month. And tomorrow, there will be a very absolutely important report to write.