Journey of a Dream

It's good to be able to move out. I will have a personal bathroom, get to see Oreo and Siew Lee more often.. But I will be deprived from internet for some time

This is what I did: Drove to Ikano, found my place at Starbucks and started my study marathon - from 2 - 8pm. Around 6, I was hungry and had a hotdog at Ikea. Went to Starbucks/ Borders, had my second shot of caffeine and sambung belajar. Plan to do that again some time this week. Maybe a lonely birthday, but a productive one at least. How would I have mood to celebrate when the next days my exams begin, not just one paper but two? I had pre - birthday celebrations though.

2 Weeks ago
My coursemates threw me a surprise celebration. I was surprised when the cake appeared, because who in the right mind would celebrate birthday 2 weeks in adavance? We did because we are a bunch of crazy chemists. I really appreciate their effort in the midst of preparing for exams.

A day later
Karen and Sam took me to Manhattan Fish Market for dinner after watching Meet The Robinsons. I bought Kampai for them, and gosh, Sam became the laughing stock of her dorm mates due to the redness of her face. I told it was to prepare her wedding. Coming back home, I felt like crying. It's a week 14 thing. It's not just week 14, but week 14 of the final semester. We've just started bonding with each other, but now we have come to an end of our uni life. I miss them lots.

Last Tuesday
The leaders of South Zone celebrated Angel's and my birthday with a cake. They gave me a very nice top. I love it. Apparently it was chosen by pastor.

Last Saturday
Family dinner at SS2. Bro asked me if I like a gift or cash for birthday. What do you say?

This Thursday
Cell group celebrated with a huge walnut cake and gave me RM 100 of Topshop shopping vouchers. Shappaholic strikes again!! (after exams OK). Sherene and Ally sang a song for me.. not gonna tell what they sang.

To those who wished and called me, I wanna say a big big thank you. Will upload pictures after exams.

When was the last time you had an "unrestrained impulse" to achieve something? Pat Mesiti asked in Dreamers Never Sleep. The answer is... a long long time. I remember it was STPM, I stayed at home every day and despite the gloom, disciplined myself to study with heavy eyebags and tears running on my cheeks. I was sad (I don't know why I even felt sad), a heavy cloud hung over me, yet I committed to daily devotion every single morning and never missed a cell meeting. I did not allow my emotions to take over me and looked forward to the prize not yet seen. When I didn't understand a thing, I would go the extra mile to read again and again and ask someone to teach me. Things like metallic bonds were not easy to understand, to see the crystal lattice as a sea of electrons that could conduct electricity.

Pat Mesiti says, " The inner rush, the inner push, the inner drive, whatever you want to call it... it is a sense of abandonment. Abandonment to the cause, to the price, to the finish line..."

I have come to the end of uni. It's the grand finale. I wished I have kept the unrestrained impulse but there is no time for regret. It's the final battle.

When I was a 12 year old kid, I did something amazing which I can't figure out how I did it. I read 150 books in that year alone; Sweet Valley, Sweet Dreams, Love Stories (the title of the series), Christopher Pike's and R.L. Stine's books, which meant I completed a book in every 2 - 3 days. Sure they were easy to read, the prints were big and the books were thin (except for a couple few which were thick), but I read them in the midst of chaotic situation at home and UPSR. I lived in a world of imagination and fantasy and it could be well said that I read more than I talked.

Later on, I grew out of Sweet Valley and ventured into some other topics besides the Wakefield twins. I started reading classics (Jane Austen, Louissa Alcott, Shakespeare and Charles Dickens), biographies and autobiographies (Abraham Lincoln, Lady D, Anne Frank, etc), books on astronomy, first aid, weather (of all things!) and history. I also started reading the Bible and other Christian titles. Then I began reading law fictions (as such by John Grisham).

Today, I am no longer the avid reader I used to be. I give excuses that I can no longer afford the time and effort. The other reason being people in uni don't read (Trust me, uni students only bury themselves in heaps of academic books). John Grisham has been replaced by Medicinal Chemistry, Physical Chemistry, Fundamentals of Analytical Chemistry and journal articles. Unread books keep stacking in my collection awaiting to be discovered and opened. Ps Pat said that we have to find ways to AFFORD it because good books will feed our mind.

I don't know why I wrote this but I just suddenly realized how much reading meant to me and how did I ever lose track of the thing I loved so much. Wait till exams are over in a month time and I'm gonna read, read and read in the cool breeze of Genting Highlands with a cuppa hot Cappucino in my hand.

It is the time of the year again that I am losing my sleep due to imsomnia. It's a sign that exams are coming soon. And when I tell people how serious it is, no one seems to believe me. I tried milk with honey, I tried push up for 30 times, I tried to read an article to make me go to sleep, but all of it did not help. My body is stiff and refuse to rest, my biological clock is rigid and refuse to listen to my instruction. It's only with Nickey and his wise counsel that I slept in peace last night. How about now and every night?

Today I'm going to continue what Ps Pat shared on the first night of the meetings. So here it goes:

Ps Pat began by saying, "God's name is El - Shaddai, which means the God of Plenty and not El - Cheapo." The whole crowd broke into laughter. Funny as it may be, Ps Pat has already spoken a biblical truth from his opening line. In the Parable of Talent, the man with one talent hid his talent because he was limited by his concept of God. Likewise, God is able to bless us and prosper us only if we have the right concept of Him. Ps Pat then began to lay the foundations that we needed for the next few days, and probably for the next few years of our lives as we live to fulfil our destiny.

The Test of Your Treasure

Matthew 6:21 says, "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." In Abraham's life, he gave all the time; he gave his tithes, he gave to Lot but it was not until he gave his treasure - Isaac, that God began to fulfil the covenant in his life time and thereafter.

In another passage, Luke 5:4, the fishermen let go of their catch (treasure). In exchange of that, God gave them a net - breaking and a boat - sinking catch. Many times, we tell God, "This is all I have." But God often replies by saying, "If that is all you have, that is all I'm asking for." Most of us can give something that doesn't cost us, but treasure is what costs us. Malachi 3:10 says, "...And try Me now in this..." God was merely telling us that we can try Him in our tithing, but when it comes to our treasure, God is testing us. Will you pass the test?

Living under an open heaven

God is our Father who wants to pour His favour on His people. It's a challenge for people to believe that God wants to bless us financially. Let us see the example of Joseph. From a land of famine, Joseph turned Egypt into an exporting nation. However to be able to live under an open heaven, we need to be faithful in our giving.

Gen 14:20 tells us that Abraham was the first man who tithed. After Abraham paid his tithes, God revealed Himself as "I am." Prior to that, nothing happened in Abraham's life. Tithes is not necessarily giving because it belongs to God. Tithe makes God Lord of All.

Ps Pat Mesiti is really my favourite speaker of all times. I remember the last time he came, it was mid December and I was working at a contractor's firm. One of the nights, my boss asked me to stay back to rush for a tender. So I worked until about 8.30 and my boss sent my straight to church (My colleagues told me it was the first time our boss sent any worker back, anyway that is besides the point). I reached the church lobby at 9 and it was way to late for me to enter the hall, so I sat there listening to Pastor Pat preach. Even with only the screen, I felt Ps Pat speaking right to my heart. He said, "Mistake is not who you are but what you do." That was enough it make me cry because all my life, I felt like a mistake. I believed God used Ps Pat because his pronouncement healed the brokenness all along.

3 months and yonder

Ps Pat is back again!!! I told myself that this time I can't afford to miss any of the sessions. Each session, Ps Pat has different ways to convey his life changing messages with his jokes and illustrations.

Ps Pat quipped, "A DREAM from your heart without a PLAN in your head and SEED in your hand will never turn into reality."

In Gen 41, after Joseph interpreted Pharoah's dreams, he had a PLAN. And that plan is to save up 20% of the crops in the 7 years of plenty to compensate for the 7 years of famine. Guess what, that 20% became a 100%!! Ps Pat teaches us to sow in the time of famine because our seed will never look like harvest. We have to see the potential behind the seed. So with that, when it was time to give our offerings, Ps Pat did something extraordinary: he asked every individual to write our dreams into the offering envelope.

So I began, a tear or two swelled up, it suddenly came upon me that my greatest dream at this point of time is to see someone change. There is so much talents and gifts deposited inside him, but yet they are not used to its potential. It hurt me so much to see the way he is, yet I can't do anything to it. What is impossible in the eyes of men, it is possible with God. Ps Pat said that our results after sowing the seed may not be instant, but we will surely reap a harvest.

I looked behind me and there stood a person, a childhood friend, someone so close to my heart. At one point of her life, things were so tough for her that she stopped going to church. When she started coming to City Harvest, I found it hard to talk to her because she didn't open up to me (due to the complexity of our relationship). I felt burden in my heart to pray for her. Nevertheless, she came to church every week. Change comes in progression as I see her faithfully joining cell group now. Though I don't understand why other cells manage to reach out to her but not me, I am overjoyed. Yes so prayer does move the hand of God.. If it can happen to her, it can happen to my dear friend.