The salsera gets bored of the question, "How did you get into salsa?" It's a conversation that goes on behind the wheels when the salsero is fetching the salsera. Sometimes a salsera gets this question repeatedly by the same salsero. In the salsera's mind, she was thinking, "How many versions of the truth do you want me to tell you?" In the end, she came up with a standard answer for this standard question.
I had a weird dream about someone I had not met for 3 years. Joseph. Yes Dr Joe. In my dream, he was back in KL and I was supposed to send him off to the airport. At this airport that looked like a bus station, he had to buy his air ticket (makes no sense, who buy tickets 2 hours before they fly?). He was hungry and was queuing up to buy food. After that, we rushed to buy ticket but this airport suddenly it turned into a traditional church where we had to sing hymns from the hymn book.
Pretty meaningless dream, but at least it takes my mind away from the missing J in my life now. Weird, "J" is also missing from my car plate.
I know all the well meaning people who told me:
1. Sleep early so that I can have enough sleep
2. Since you are awake at 6am in the morning, why not you pray?
But you see, 6am has been traditionally my sleeping time since my uni days. Why am I awakened at 6am against my will? Why is the damn thing across the street, barely 100m away from my house, blasting loud at 6am in the morning?
Enough is enough!!! It's been a year since I suffer due to the stupidity of certain sects of society. I am really tired of having to go through this every morning. I thought about moving out from my house just to escape this nonsense. But where can I run away from my own house? I am not having problems with my family... the distance from my house to my office is just right.... I don't need to pay rent staying in this house... any I have my mum to cook me dinner... but I have to run away from my house because I can't get enough sleep EVERY NIGHT and is starting to show to show health and mental problems a.k.a. migraine cum irritability.
| “ | We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. | ” |
I stumbled upon a website which suggests 50 things you should do in your lifetime. Here's some of it:
1. Watch sunset or sunrise - Had a blast at Broga Hill and eat Kajang satay but did not watch sunrise.
2. Pass on a nugget of knowledge - Teaching Jolene F6 Maths.
4. Scuba-dive - Are you kidding me? I wanna go diving for real!!!
5. Grow something - I grew taugeh before. Apart from that, all plants die in my care.
6. Become a parent- Yes by faith!
7. Ride a rollercoaster - Done it so many times - Sunway Lagoon, Genting Corkskrew, Ocean Park "mo tin loon"
9. Visit Paris - Some day...
11. Tell someone you love them - I told Oreo that I love him, is that counted?
13. Read a classic novel - Alright I have done this quite ok
15. Go to the theatre - I will go with someone special
16. Learn to swim - I taught someone to swim in fact, though I'm a cacat swimmer
19. Have a favourite joke - New one will be Wonderwoman, Superman & Invincible man joke
20. Go to a concert - Been to a magic show. Is that considered?
22. Treat yourself to a health spa - Yes, Bali was sweet
24. Be creative - this isn't too hard. Can try asking Jolene what I did for her one Christmas.
25. Take a hot-air balloon ride - One day
27. Climb a mountain - I'm supposedly going to do that at Mount KK but I don't know if it's still gonna happen.
29. Christmas in New York - This is a good one
31. Go to a sporting event - Been to Bukit Jalil for Commonwealth Games
32. Take a walk in the rain - Ah sweet..
33. Surprise someone - honestly I haven't been doing this for a long time. Plan to do something later part of this year. But I don't know if that's still gonna happen.
35. Sleep under the stars - That's so romantic!
36. Visit the pyramids - I have been to the Angkor Wat, another Wonder of the world consider rite?
38. Learn something new - Been at salsa & bachata lately. Loving it more day by day.
41. Sample foreign food - That's the beauty of backpacking. You get to do that all the time.
42. Go whale watching -I wanna swim around sharks
43. Cook something - I just did today with the Taiwan sausages. But honestly, I will do that for the person I love. And he must appreciate it though it sucks.
44. Get tipsy with good company - I can't remember getting tipsy lately
48. Serenade someone - I rather someone serenade me
49. Visit a museum - Macau Maritime Museum, Macau Museum, Cambodia Museum, Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum, Sun Yat Sen Memorial Museum - somehow I haven't visit Museum Negara
It's 6.30 in the morning. I should still be on the bed but Oreo woke me up with his panting. And the room had been really hot with the air cond malfunctioning. My eyes are still heavy. They are dry but I just got them wet again. I made a terrible mistake. When you buy a pen for instance, your only hope for the pen is to keep writing and be consistent. I don't expect the pen to give me surprises by writing in different colours. I just want it to perform the way I wanted it to.
I made a terrible mistake. I wish I could reverse on it. But I know deep inside I couldn't. Sarah taught about the happiness trap. Yes I fell into that trap. But it wasn't for money. I know money can't make me happy. I hate being alone. For that matter, I hate walking into church 52 times a year alone. There are so many things I hate doing alone. Such as when my car got hit I fixed the whole thing alone. Nobody gave a shoulder to lean on.
Friends could only listen but what I really wanted was a shoulder. And I wanted the shoulder so badly. Then I find myself in that vicious cycle. It was sunny today. But the other day was cloudy. It didn't matter. I'm still gloomy every other day.
The good thing about having a busy job is you really have no time to think about a lot of things. But in between finishing my testing and visiting the other lab, I know misery is there. And it caught me off-caught at times. The other day I was looking for some samples in the solvent room. I felt suddenly that I wanted to end everything by consuming any of the chemical. It would end very quickly but no, I shrug myself to reality.
All I want is the pen to behave consistently. I didn't know the pen will say, "no, I won't write for you on alternate days, on weekends too." And for the coming week, the pen to say to me, "sorry I don't know when I will work." The thing is, I want the pen to work very well.
Alas vanity is vanity. All is vanity.
Oreo woke me up with his panting. He's ready to play to with my bolster but wait, I'm not ready to wake up! I slept at 2am in the morning after paradiso bachata night. My salsa classmates weren't there. But thankfully, a bachata classmate came and danced with me. And Siew Lee was there to accompany me. The dance floor was exceptionally big and overwhelming and dancing with so many experts is a reminder how much I need to improve myself. There weren't a lot of ppl. Maybe I should have gone to Salsa Havana.
