Journey of a Dream

My threshold is running a little low. Kite has been away for a week.  Everyone let down their guards. But despite that, there is this tension in the air. As if something was not right.The new clerk complained about her new job and tendered her resignation just after one week after reporting. Apparently, she can't stand SuSu. SuSu peered over when she is doing work. New clerk caught her doing that through the computer screen reflection. Besides that, she was reprimanded for talking to the lady technicians. Other than that, it's what I have been accustomed to for the 1.75 years I was here: No handphone, lest you spill sensitive company information; no food and drink, not even sweets or nescafe, lest you spill the coffee like a kid..

As I sat in front of the computer screen, I tried to recall the last time I was away. I went to our R&D center at Westport a few months. Yes it was that long!!! A few months ago... I have hardly been to the headquarters, seminar, library, training or whatever ever since Kite took charge. This is not the place I want to be. The corporate ladder is higher than Rapunzel's tower and I am still at the bottom. Yes I know, this place is very safe. But security no longer lures me. I need a new challenge.

I know, I have been talking about the new challenge since January. Yet I have not done much during the last 5 months. I was busy with Japan, I am busy with Korea and tuition. If I am really sick of the situation, I should really do something about it but am I doing anything?

I found out today about what actually transpired within the 5 days Zoe was here. Apparently, mum had complained to Nicole about her leg. I don't know what she complained, that it was still painful and that we did not take care of her? Personally, I'm tired about her leg. After hospitalization, visits to Gasing tabib cina and Pudu tabib cina which include urut the kaki, acupuncture and using IR, nothing seems to work. It's not like I didn't spend money.  All of us spent money but no matter how we try, words has it that we are not treating Mum well. Anyhow, Zoe will be in Dubai permanently by Oct. So why all the trouble now?

My house has suddenly turned silent today. There is no more noise of nursing babe, or voices of adults nursing a babe. What a contrast from 2 days ago, where there were bottles and toys lying everywhere, and the fridge filled with more bottles and plastic bags filled with breast milk. My mornings were greeted with music suited for my young niece. None of these are heard or seen anymore.

My dad angry, and my mum disappointed, that's the kind of feeling you get if you walk into my house right now. But I know, they will eventually get over it. 2 weeks ago, they were euphoric about the fact that they get to take care of their own grandchild. Today, that hope is dashed.

As for me, it's living with terms that I can't play with my niece. She'll probably be mandarin speaking. But once again, Oreo can roam freely in my house.

Saturday morning began with dragging myself out of bed at 8.30am, a very unusual practise from waking up at about 10 ish as I am accustomed to on Saturday mornings. This was the second saturday in a row that I actually wake up early to go for seminars. But it's ok, this weekend is a long weekend.

Yes, there are a lot of seminars you can go to. A lot of feel good seminars to motivate you. But this particular one, I wanted to go because Dr Peter J Daniels is a billionaire owning a gold and silver bullion bank hailing from Down Under and he is 70+ yrs old.When I go for seminars, I often wonder why would people bother teaching if they make so much money in futures/ options/ forex/ stock/ real estate? Could it be that teaching earns them more than they do trading? For Dr Peter J Daniels, I know he simply wants to bless the church. And being a billionaire, whatever he said has been tried and tested.

His accent was particularly hard to listen on Saturday morning where I just dragged myself out of bed. But by Monday, I was used to listening to that accent.

He spoke about the need of feeding the brains. He spoke about having a life long dreams and having a plan to make sure it happens. He also gave some investing tips which I'm keeping close to my heart.

The 1st law of success, according to him, is the mastery over procrastination. So to begin with, I need to read some books. Success may be a big word to use. For me, I just hate the thought of being stuck in a job I don't enjoy all my life and the corporate ladder is as slow as the turtle's journey with a lot of hard work but very little reward. So this is my little step launching into the deep and I have to agree, it all begins in the mind.