Journey of a Dream

I wanted to cry so badly. At least when I cry, I relieve myself of all the emotional  baggage. When I cry, I find myself searching for my true self. After lying on the bed for some time, tears finally strolled down my cheeks which I rubbed off with my comforter. They were not gushing tears, only a few minutes of slow hot tears. But that was all I needed to come to my true self.

My true self who is angry at God. Angry that when I believed in His promises they did not come to pass. His promises for blessings and happiness. Instead, I found myself in the same vicious cycle that I was in last year. Just angry that life did not turn out at my best interests.

Angry enough to stop believing in love. Disappointed enough thinking that love is for the elusive. Disappointed at myself that I am not the Christian I should be. That I still have very much of my shortcomings and my inability to resist shortfalls. That I begin to think of myself too lowly to deserve any love.

I am trapped in this pursuit of happyness. But at the end of day, I realized all that I have been looking for is here all along. I just need to receive it once again. As I have been told, you can't run away from the truth. Now is time to deal with it.

1. I don't think I believe in love anymore, but because God is LOVE.. I will try to believe once again.

2. Oreo's tail has a pulse

3. I kinda like my new  hairstyle. I think short hair is not too bad for me.

4. I like being a salsa recruiter. To date I recruited 5 ppl to join salsa.

5. The alchemist say, "If you want something bad enough, the whole will conspire in your favour to obtain it." I want to believe in that but then it doesn't work sometimes, does it  really require begging?