It's been one of the most terrible sleep I've had since shifting here. I hardly slept for an hour despite my physical wanting to do so. To my parents, they were surprised to see me rising me so early, as waking up in late morning has almost become synonymous to my name. After signing off my computer at 3am, I tried very hard to put myself to deep sleep, but some words replay again and again in my mind. All the words and the facts, they were as difficult to rid off as they were committed to memory. The scenes of that bitter defeat replay over and over again. It is such torment to watch that mind video again and again. I have yet to pass through that stage of disappointment.
Updated: It was yesterday..but the author moves on!! I can't read to finish reading Mansfield Park by tonight. A book a month. And tomorrow, there will be a very absolutely important report to write.
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Pre - Hong Kong trip poem
Before I left for Hong Kong, I was so excited that a little poem arose in my heart. Enjoy!!! But do not expect much..This is my first..
He appeared a daylight ghost in the late morning blaze
Beneath the innocent glasses stood a man disguised as angel
With faults and lines she couldn't see, or simply chose not to
The two began their little chattery, unknown to what was to become
Nothing too impressive, or so she thought
The night emerged, he came out cold and hungry
He took the sandwich with grateful silence felt with the heart
As unexpected as he appeared, he went away
Out of nowhere he appeared again
Brainy, witty and funny was all it takes to win her
He tossed the ball; the queer of his eyes made her lose her step
Hence the clock ticked and a year passed them by
The hour they cuddled was as fresh as faint memories could allow
The one they had stolen for their own selfish use
If only that hour could hold a life time
His brotherly advice never left the sober her
Perhaps it was never meant to be
Along his passing he took a part of her
But with longing hearts she wishes for his return
Oceans apart her love will never dim
With loving patience she awaits
And let this return be for eternity
Disappointed. Undignified. Stupefied.
Disappointed.. That's all that I am feeling right now. We lost it so undignified!! For a few moments, the very words that I wrote at the BAT assessment that day, "Never give up," rung in my ears in that reluctant encouragement to myself. I have to practise what I preach. I should not give up, never. But the pain stuck close to my heart. So stupefied because of all the hard work put in, it has all come to nothing, not even a chance to use what I have so painstakingly studied. I told myself again and again that it was the participation and experience that matter most, not winning or losing. But the pain remains. Without talking to anyone and seemingly oblivion to anyone's presence or anything else, I drove home at 130kmh. I can't remember driving at this speed since I shifted here. I couldn't help myself but to allow myself an outburst of tears. It lasted 30 seconds. Hard word does not guarantee winning, we need a little more luck.
Luck.. what exactly is it? I have got no idea. All I know, I've been in my worst for the last 3 years to such an extent I stopped believing in myself. Due to job hunting, I had once again taken out all the certificates I have accumulated over the years. Each of it brings back sweet memories and I thought, 'was it me?' I remember the joyful glee when my name was read out, when I have done one of the best for physics competition. Then at another instance, I was handpicked to represent my school for the chemistry quiz. The word 'distinctions' stands proudly on that certificate. Where is that girl who was once so smart? Has she become stupid? All the 7 semesters have fall short under my expectations. I earned many A's, but all the C's and D's made up the difference. It then makes me an average, a word I am really not accustomed to. Alas, vanity is vanity.
Then, yesterday, I got an unexpected call. Having slept late doing a table for missionaries finals the night before, I was still in deep sleep when I heard the vibration. In my sleepiness I heard that I have passed the BAT assessment. Not only that, I was told that I was the only one who passed in that group of about 15 people, among whom chosen from thousands of people who sent in the resumes weekly. I was elated to the extent that after I broke the news to my parents I could not go back to sleep. Yesterday, I was on top of the hill. Today I am back to the valley. It's a rollercoaster ride.
Life has been good. Imagine waking up every day at 10 ++ am. Then go for lunch, study for Missionaries finals, and at night time, some time for the TV, some time for Internet and some time for Mansfield Park. Nevertheless, the reality of not earning is more real than ever as my pocket runs dry. My mind is very much intensed to finding a job now, but job hunting really ain't easy. So besides my good life, I had also been going for interviews and assessments. The lure of money is great as I can no longer dread days without Starbucks (not even Winterwarmers), new clothes, skin care, ability to give to missions, my parents and everything that working life has to offer. I've visited my aunt's new house at SS2, it was simply fabulous!! Aunt said we can sit down and drink Kahlua together when she's done moving in! At the mean time, I am starting to get nervous for Thursday's finals.
Like a dog with two tails
We made it to the finals of "Who Wants to be a Missionary?" Good job to all my team members - XinHui and Mei Yee. It began when I bought the book, "From Jerusalem to Irian Jaya" despite having financial constraints. So I thought, if I have the book I might as well make good use of it. As I spent laborious hours reading the book, I thought to myself that I might as well make notes out of it. As I spent more time on it, I realized I mustn't let my efforts go wasted. So the two hours at CHEC yielded results - we were chosen to represent the LU cluster! Then the next step was the prelim and semifinals. We met at Mid Valley to strategize our team. On the night before, all of us slept late as we searched for more general knowlede. General knowldege was simply... too general. We woke up early the next morning and met at the church lobby. We had a tie with another team. So we met again at night for another round of semifinals. And we made it!!! See, when I stepped out, I didn't know I could get this far.. but it is all so sweet. Whatever the outcome is, I am satisfied that we have made it thus far and knowing that we have done our best. But I must say, the one month travel to the Indochina had been really helpful to my geographical knowledge. If I hadn't read the Insight Guides in the bus while Amy and Jolene were sound sleeping, I probably wouldn't know the the Mekong River originates from China.
From Saigon to Hanoi
The Nha Trang beach is famous among locals and always packed during evenings. The waves are among the best I've been such that we swam here twice, in addition to our island hopping to Mot Island, Mut Island, Tam and another island.
World Heritage Site of My Son Sanctuary. It's dog's days of summer here.
Champa monuments of Hindu influence
Conical hat making. We couldn't "enjoy" the tour without paying.
The tomb of Minh Mang, the second emperor of the Nguyen Dynasty of Vietnam
Imperial Citadel of Vietnam in central Hue
Temple of Heaven Cave (Halong Bay)
Fisherman village along the Halong Bay
The bananas cost 20000 dong a bunch. Don't play play
Amy Wong Jia Hui's 23rd birthdayVietnam - Excursions off Ho Chi Minh City
As cocunuts are readily available along the Mekong Delta, the coconut candies serve as good souvenirs to take back home. Unfortunately for us, some of the candies which we brought all the way from Saigon were stolen. Hope their teeth fall out..
Trying to look like conical - hatted peasants
In front of the Cao Dai Temple at Tay Ninh, a religion sect that combines the teachings of Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, Christianity, Confucianism, Islam and their saints include Dr Sun Yat Sen, Victor Hugo, Joan of Arc, etc.
Jolene with the followers of Cao Dai
Above us is the symbol of Cao Dai. The Great Temple, or better known as the Holy See, is the most colourful religious buliding I've seen.
This is how the Cu Chi tunnel works. Step number 1
Step number 2
Step number 3
Now he's gone!!
One of the traps used by the Viet Chongs who fought the south army during the Vietnam War.
Cambodia Exposed - Phnom Penh
Weapons of Cruelty
In the Tuol Sleng Museum, we were not supposed to laugh, or smile for that matter. I guess it is respect for the dead
Brick cells for the victims
One of the beds that had been used to interrogate the victims
We took a bus from Siem Reap to Phnom Penh, and with all gratefulness, the road was much better than expected, unlike the one from Poipet to Siem Reap. How unfortunately that it was in Phnom Penh too that Amy lost her handphone and I, some money. It couldn't be sheer coincidence that both of us lost something, but I suspect it was our gullibility of trusting that our belongings were in safe hands and the quick hands of the hotelier's staff. At that moment, it made us very unhappy that we left the very next day. Otherwise, it would have been a very happy trip to Cambodia.
Cambodia Exposed - Angkor Wat
This is Angkor Wat in the background, the very reason we came to Cambodia, the only motivation that sustained us from turning away at Aranyaprathet - Poipet border, when all we saw was poverty, dirt and Khmer people we are not familiar with.
Among the rocks in the interior of Angkor. It took me a lot of courage to climb up the steep steps leading to above.
The magnificance of Bayon
More of Bayon
I like the face sculpture
Cool!!
Sitting on the roots of the ancient trees. The two guys are our photographers from China.
Amazing Thailand - Part 2
Amazing Thailand - Part 1
Thailand is simply amazing and definitely would go there again. This time, we only covered Chiangmai, Ayutthaya and Bangkok. We missed out on Phuket, Ko Phi Phi and some other islands but next time round, I would try to cover the others as well.
Contrary to what people have said, Thailand is not a dangerous place where you can be dropped dead by bombs any time or even if you don't, chances are you will kena kongtau when you look into someone's eyes. Again, the lesson here is not to simply listen to what people say but to find out for yourself.
Thai people are generally friendly and helpful and at times, they are angels to us. They would not hesitate to help us find direction and would even lead us to the place of destination. One thing I noticed is that Thai people love their King a lot, and later I found out the reason, especially when we visited the Royal Palace and Vimanmek Mansion in Bangkok. At one of the Museums, photographs taken by the King Himself were displayed and one couldn't be help to be awed by it. But it was just not the photographs alone that awed us all. King Bumiphol had been monarchy for 60 years and throughout His reign, He continuously took efforts to bring betterment to the Thai nation. His Consort, Queen Sirikit was very well respected too because in the younger days, She would listen to commoners and jot down the necessary notes. She was noted as one who revived the Thai silk industry of Thailand.
Sadly, our photographs at Bangkok are lost. In Bangkok, we went to the famous Catuchak Weekend Market, Central World Plaza and Suan Lam Night Bazaar. We spent one night each at Khao San Road and Sukhumvit Road. The Khao San road is also known as Backpackers' Haven where Mat Salleh hippies can have a drink and chill out at night. Sukhumvit Road is to the Thai what Jalan Sultan Ismail is to us.
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