Journey of a Dream

1. On the eve of the Chinese New Year, I went back to UM to look for journal articles. SO unlike me but it was fun. It made me think that I'm smart.

2. I got cheated twice this week. McD waiter gave me the set without the Coke. Starbucks barista charged me mocha when I had cappucino. I realised that when I look at the receipt when I got home. Should be more careful next time. My absentmindedness is not helping.

3. I misplaced my Student ID in the car. I was worried sick and was hoping that no one would borrow my card to borrow loads of book. Thank God I found it in Dad's car.

4. My cute and fuzzy Oreo is here again. I love the sight of him sleeping in that red sailor suit. So so cute!!! What would I do without Oreo? I pray that he live 10 more yrs and I am satisfied. Hehe...

5. I watched almost every available movie at the cinemas: Dreamgirls, Protege, Twin's Mission, Music & lyrics, Ghostrider, Last Kiss, The Holiday, Norbit. Not too bad rite?

Fear has got a way to grip you off your joy. As age catches up, I realise I am not much a risk taker than I used to be. I remember catching bus late at night after gym, the bus stop was empty and it didn't worry me a bit. Now, I am worried if anyone will snatch my stuff even when someone, a big macho guy, is walking me to the bus stop.

I used to drive a lot with my Kancil. Now I drive much less. One reason is the petrol that my dear Wira so like to consume, the other reason being afraid that I might get into another crash. How many times do I have to explain that it was not my fault? It didn't really concince some people though. To save myself the risk of an accident, many times I choose not to drive, even it meant I lose my convenience. I tried to talk myself that it won't happen again, but I am still miserably gripped by fear. Being able to drive again itself is a breakthrough.

As the "readership" to my blog increases, there is a greater pressure to write things that my readers would be interested to know. I want my readers to always enjoy my writings, and at the same time I want to blog about my daily life, in which most people would not be interested because it is too mundane, so i only blog when there is a lot of ideas storing in my brain. At times, I don't want to write too much personal stuff. At other times, I don't want to be accused a narcissist.

I am afraid to be seen at certain places. I wish I can cover my face with a shawl. But it is then I look at my best. So why shy away?

If I like a guy, most likely I will let it slip if the guy doesn't do anything. I am not one that goes to approach the guy. Had it been me years ago, I would probably confront the guy if I sense a bit of chemistry between us. I used to take risks like that. Not anymore for the fear of being rejected and I always believe the first move is from the guy.

So what is next? I really gotta evaluate the fear element in my life. If this persists, it is going to rip me of a faith future. I need this day where I can say I can fall, cos God is catching from behind.