It's kinda ironic how holidays can make one feel tired when the original idea of a trip is to rejuvenate oneself. The more holidays I went, the more tired I became. I spent many hours pre - trip researching information with regards to the trips.. going to embassy to get visa done. Then I also spent many hours working for money to go on those trips. During the trips, I get exhausted because I maximize every possible hour when I am at the foreign country. Even during flights, I would read up more information, in case there is anything that I might have missed out. Coming back, I could only afford a few hours rest because the next day I had to go to work. So many times, I was drained up physically and emotionally. The trips were simply too demanding and too much to sacrifice for.
At some point in life, I believed that my existence on earth was to travel around the world. Today, that belief seems too shallow to me. Since I don't quite like work, travel is the nemesis of it and of late, I am not ashamed to admit it. Like duh... who does?
That is just the half truth.. The whole truth is that "I don't like my work at this moment, there had been better times, and there will certainly be times in the future I will put in my best... It's just that, it just kinda suck right now."
Which means, I believe I am capable, because I was capable in the past, I am sure I can repeat those feats again. I can spend hours and hours pouring into work with enthusiasm and passion, and money, reward and appreciation are the by - products of my efforts and passion.
Sure, I love to travel. Sure, I love to dance. Sure I love Oreo. Sure I love to go to the gym.. these are also passions inseparable of who I am. But work provides me with some sort of satisfaction and defines my self - worth. So at the end of the day, I still need to work which means, I am not really the housewife material.
Having said that, it does not mean that I agree to the idea of househusbands. I somehow don't see myself taking the active role of breadwinner by waking up to work every morning, while my hubby prepares breakfast, gets ready the dinner, babysit the kids and tuck them to bed and by the time I reach home, they are already asleep.
So I suppose, balance is the keyword here.
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